Liminal People

With the rise of the corporate landlord, maybe there is no such thing as liminal space anymore

but liminal people

Because I’ve noticed, lately, that I seem to have developed this talent, a sort of slow dissolving at social events.

a gradual thinning. A polite transparency.

tracing paper laid over a gathering.

At these events/evenings/occasions these rooms full of people performing acquaintance, I slip in, stand briefly in the penumbra of a lampshade, and somehow become optional. Not ignored. That implies intent. More overlooked in the same way one overlooks ceiling cornices or a music stand. Present, but not in a way that demands interpretation.

The room carries on.

I drift sideways.

Someone is explaining something to someone.

Someone else is laughing the laugh of a person who is listening only to themselves.

And I am there, technically, like a watermark.

It’s curious.

You start to pick up the microclimates the conversational weather fronts drifting around the snacks table.

People meaning well.

People meaning nothing.

People meaning to leave but trapped in a cul-de-sac of anecdotes.

I stand nearby, an unassigned prop, absorbing none of it and all of it at once.

And there’s always a moment when someone looks straight at me, straight through me, straight beyond me to the person behind me they actually came to speak to.

A clean line of sight.

And I realise I’ve once again perfected the art of gentle non-interference.

It's not sad.

that requires a centre.

This is more… peripheral.

A soft margining of the self.

Once I thought it was a flaw, this being unanchored at gatherings.

Now it feels more like a form of social aerodynamics.

Cutting down resistance.

Letting the evening flow around me without demanding anything in return.

And somewhere in that eddy

between the coats on the chairs,

and the people who know each other too well to behave naturally

I’m quietly at ease.

Not enjoying it, exactly.

But recognising it.

An odd, weightless participation

Here, but only just.

A presence lightly pencilled in.

An outline nobody bothers to erase